


Reconnect

by GLwrites



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Established Jester/Yasha, Established Relationship, F/F, Mention of blood, Spoilers for episode 104, TW: Blood, TW: Suicide, mention of self-harm, mention of suicide, trigger warning: blood, trigger warning: self-harm, trigger warning: suicide, tw: self-harm, yashter, yester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:15:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25625788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GLwrites/pseuds/GLwrites
Summary: Jester's not sure how weird today was going to get when it started, but it started not great. Jester's POV through Episode 104 with some slight canon divergence to fit the established Jester/Yasha. Trigger warnings explained in beginning notes. Rating to be safe.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Yasha
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	Reconnect

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! So this could be considered a loose sequel to "Rekindling" but it can be read separately. Where potential triggers are have been marked with an asterisk, bolded font, and have been spaced in such a way that you can skip them if needed. Also sorry for all the typos and such, it's early/late and I don't have a beta. ^^'

Jester should have known that the day after the Mighty Nein met Guacamole was going to be weird. Actually she did know, but she didn’t know that it was going to be this bad. It started with some light forgetfulness, no “Good morning” kiss from Yasha, searching for pearls with Caleb (He did much better at it) and finding all those ships led to Caduceus almost disappearing. Thankfully Fjord was able to stop that as much as he could before he came back to get the rest of them, but Jester had been glad that Beauregard and Caleb had been able to get back the compelled furbolg. The group collect themselves, search a few potential “Ball Eater Version Two” ships, before deciding on their next course of action. 

Travelling to the ruins after a short rest, weird was bound to happen, especially after the aerial view the party got of the sinister part of the island. Her heart hurt looking and talking to the sick tree, Yasha standing beside her in silent emotional support. She remembers her tail wrapping around the taller woman’s waist, Yasha’s hand resting on her shoulder and leaning over to press a kiss to her head as the rest talk her out of moving the poor tree. They wandered on toward the ruins, their feet just having entered the mist and fog surrounding the dilapidated buildings, when Caduceus heard whispers. Jester turned her ears to listen, picking out words that she relayed to the group and no one seemed to be pleased, worry and unease settling onto everyone’s shoulders. 

The ghostly figures emerge from the mist and there is the “attempt” at talking it out before Beau punches the shadow with beady red eyes. The battle happens so fast, Yasha stands steadfast with her sword drawn beside her and then, that beautiful face that she loves to press kisses upon, turns toward her with her eyes glazed over, blank and unfeeling. 

“Yasha?” Jester whispers, her eyes watering at the thought of her love being possessed again. The aasimar lifts her sword and swings, face unflinching as the blade thuds against her shield. “YASHA! Please snap out of it!” 

***She screams, her eyes locking with the dead, mismatched gaze of Yasha, before the blade scrapes across her shoulder, blood weeping from the wound and her eyes close in pain.***

A gasp leaves her at the attack and Jester reaches for her Traveller symbol before casting “Turn Undead.” She rotates her head to watch the ghostly figures shriek in terror and when her eyes pass over Yasha in front of her, her love’s gaze is soft and full of conflicting emotions. 

“I-I-I did it again. Oh god,” Yasha’s voice is broken, eyes full of anguish before she reaches her hands toward Jester. Jester’s hand in turn reaches up to cup the taller woman’s cheek before she feels a warm pulse of energy through her body, she knows instinctively that the wound Yasha inflicted was now closed. The brief respite is enough to assuage Jester’s worry that Yasha might not be free yet, but her worries about how this might effect the woman are still alive. The sounds of combat increase as Fjord skirmishes with a spectre near them and Yasha shakes her head and runs off to help Beau. 

Jester helps Fjord fight, together they manage to defeat the spectre and he vanishes away, her head on a swivel and she notices the rest of the spectres have disappeared before she sees him strike the final blow against the main shadow that Beau and Yasha are fighting. Once the battle winds down, she catches the tailend Yasha’s words as she nears the group. 

“...possessed again.” Her tone is defeated, but Jester can tell she’s trying to be flippant about it.

  
“Oh, are you, like, okay? How are you feeling with that?” Beau’s worry seeps into the question, her glowing wrists catching Jester’s eye as Beau unconsciously moves a hand toward Yasha to pat her shoulder. Yasha steps back and holsters her sword, turning to look toward the tower looming in front of the Nein. 

“Should we check that out, yeah?” The question is asked as Yasha is already moving toward it, Caleb ahead of her and they chat just out of earshot. The rest of the Nein nod and Caduceus heals Veth, who appears to have a faceful of soot that’s not been wiped away, the searching of the tower is quickly halted at the realization that Beau should scout above, Caleb and Yasha looking around at the walls inside. The monk disappears up the wall, Jester translating the Infernal that appears around the main floor for Caleb and Yasha. Her eyes stray to the taller woman, wanting to grab her wrist to pull her aside to check on her. Yasha volunteers to be the muscle, however, and Jester vows to speak with her lover, if they survive the day, at watch tonight. 

Watching Yasha’s back muscles flex to move the stone lid of the largest sarcophagus distracts Jester long enough that her response to Yasha’s struggling to hold the coffin is belated. Her arms wrap around the aasimar’s waist and together they grapple to keep it up on the floor with them, but it’s not enough and the stone slips over the edge and crashes to the ground. Yasha steps forward, Jester walking with her arms around her still, and glances over the edge, expression forlorn at the pieces of the sarcophagus. 

“Well, there goes that loot,” Yasha’s tone is bitter and Jester can’t help but let out a little giggle at the ridiculousness of the situation. Yasha pats the interlocked hands at her waist and Jester squeezes before she lets go. 

“Yasha? Can we talk later?” It’s a whisper, Jester’s forehead pressed between Yasha’s shoulder blades. Jester can feel her nod in response before Yasha turns toward her, her eyes so heavy with thoughts unsaid that Jester can almost see them manifesting before her.

=====

“Later” turns out to be finally camped within the hut in the jungle on the way back to Guacamole. The Nein are a weary bunch, the magic users almost completely sapped for energy and the whole party suffers from the turmoil of planning the assault on the volcano-dwelling being. So many ideas bounce around before the group settles on the final plan and Jester offers herself and Yasha for the first watch. Fjord begins to object, knowing how many spells Jester’s had to use throughout the day, but her eyes fix him with a look that he shrugs off and quiets himself. Jester takes a moment to apologize to him briefly before he nods in understanding, and gestures with his head over to Yasha. 

“Go start your watch. I know you weren’t trying to turn me to ash,” he jokes before rolling onto his side to sleep. Jester shakes her head and pats him on the arm before moving to settle down beside Yasha, leaning into the pale woman. The two of them sit there quietly, soaking in the sounds of the night life stirring around them before Jester speaks. 

“Are you doing okay? I know you can’t be, so don’t even try to tell me otherwise. I saw your face before,” Jester trails off, realizing that she may be coming off harsher than intended. She’s proven right when Yasha tenses beside her and shifts away. 

“How can I be ‘okay,’ Jester?! I let it happen again, I almost-,” Yasha chokes out her words and Jester knows Yasha is not angry at her, but at herself. “I could have killed you.” This statement leaves her in a whisper and Jester sees tears sliding down pale cheeks. 

“But you didn’t, Yasha, I knew you wouldn’t. You even healed me!” Jester’s insistence to remind Yasha of her goodness and her kindness before the taller woman drowns herself in shame. “Plus, you know, this time I saved you! Not Caduceus.” Jester finishes proudly and Yasha’s lips pull into a soft smile, a quiet little laugh following the statement. Jester is mentally patting herself on the back when Yasha turns to her. 

“You did save me this time, this is true,” Yasha’s smile fades away, “but it could have been way worse. I need to find a way to protect myself better.” While she’s talking, Yasha’s hands close around Jester’s own and her thumbs drag across the tops of blue hands. 

***“I need to better myself so I don’t turn on the group, on you, ever again. I don’t know that I can live with myself if it happens once more.” Jester takes in that sentence and her eyes close, her body shuddering at the idea of Yasha hurting, even killing, herself before letting someone take over her mind again.***

“Please, Yasha, don’t do that. It might be selfish of me to say this,” Jester’s already blushing a bit but she needs to make her point. “But I need you in my life, Yasha. I don’t want to imagine a world without you in it. You must try to come back to us, to me, always.” Jester implores Yasha, staring into the blue eye, then the purplish-pink eye, her own flicking back and forth between Yasha’s to get her point across. Yasha is silent, pensive for a moment, and then she nods. 

“Jester, I will try to keep that in mind. But hopefully, there is no next time.” She’s resolute for a moment before her pale face reddens in a blush too. “I need you too, Jester. I need you so much.” 

Jester doesn’t know if it’s how beautiful Yasha looks when she’s bashful that makes her lean in to press her lips to hers or if Yasha sees the “Please, PLEASE kiss me now” look on Jester’s face that causes her to lean in, but their lips meet and sighs leave them. Jester is pretty sure the breathy moan was her, but when they pull away, Yasha’s face is flush in a deeper red than before. 

“Well, w-we, uh, should probably get back to watch?” Yasha’s stumbling over her words and Jester now knows which of them that breathy moan belonged to, and her smile is smug and dripping with satisfaction. Even though it wasn’t a particularly heated kiss, it was something for Jester to be proud of, making the more stoic of the two women respond like that. Deciding to not tease Yasha tonight, Jester leans her horned head into the aasimar’s shoulder and her tail flicks happily behind her. Her own thoughts drift to the flexing of Yasha’s muscles in the tower, even as her eyes drift over the scenery of the jungle. Jester lets the two of them sit in comfortable silence for about ten minutes before her need boils over.

“Hey, Yasha?” Jester’s voice breaks the silence and Yasha turns to look at her, her arm instinctively wrapping around Jester’s waist, her hand resting in the small of her back. Jester’s heart throbs with such want at the look of gentle adoration in Yasha’s expression and she leans in, her hands rising to bring Yasha’s face to hers. Their lips meet again, Yasha’s brows raising in surprise before she relaxes into the kiss, and Jester sighs, her arms shifting to wrap around Yasha’s neck. The angle’s not super great, sitting next to each other like this on the ground, but Jester needed to be closer. Their relationship is not so new that kissing itself is new, but with the recently established intimacy they’ve had to slowly rebuild since Yasha’s freedom from Obann, there’s something profoundly satisfying about just grabbing Yasha and kissing her that Jester’s taking full advantage of now. 

“Wow, we should do that more often.” Jester laughs at the glaze in Yasha’s eyes, unlike the blank one from earlier today, and her awed words, leaning into her neck and nuzzling there happily for a moment. Jester turns her face enough that she can see jungle somewhere out past the dome, her eyes roaming the greenery, to at least say she had been on watch at some point that night. She can tell Yasha has resumed watch in earnest, though the broad hand on her back is rubbing soothing, absentminded circles there. Today might have started out incredibly weird, but Jester can say that at least that it ended well, with her and Yasha tucked together in quiet watch over their friends, safe and sound. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. As always don't forget to like, comment and perscribe!  
> Also you can find me on tumblr now: https://glwritesff.tumblr.com/


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